Tuesday, July 1, 2008

A Birthday Lesson . . .

On Sunday I officially became an old man. That's right, I hit the big 3-7. I'm sure all ya'll gifts are on the way via UPS, but just in case anyone forgot, tomorrow at work there will be steaks and potatoes (and chocolate cream cake) in my honor. If you're in the area, stop by. But only if you have my gift. That is, if you know what's good for you. Capiche?

I found out today, via Creflo Dollar, that the reason I will get published will not be because of my talent or hard work or sticktuitiveness, it will be simply because I've said so. Apparently, the words I use have great power. Whatever I say - will happen. In fact, that truth was apparently the whole point of the gospel. Not that whole sanctification through faith in Jesus Christ and acceptance of His sacrifice on the Cross thing.

So here it goes: "I will be published." Oh wait, "And I'll make lots of money."

Well it's a cinch now. I'm just gonna sit back, pop open a root beer, and wait for those royalty checks to pour in.

Wow! Just think of all the time I've wasted actually working on my novel, learning the craft, and ugh, rewriting. What a shame.

Well, I gotta go. Time to throw all my "Writing - How to" books in the garbage. Wait a minute, I'm not using my powers. "Books. Get in the garbage. ......Now!"

Oh well I guess it takes practice.

4 comments:

Nicole said...

Happy, happy birthday, baby. (Sung, of course.)

Well . . . aah, heck. Stick to the sticktoitiveness (sp.?). You don't want to miss out on all that fun, do ya? Share in the Lord's sufferings . . .

"Make no mistake. God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." And it ain't often easy . . .

Mark H. said...

Happy birthday! Tell your boss I said you could go home early.

Kay Day said...

You mean you didn't get the box of Creflo Dollar tapes I mailed out two weeks ago???

Happy Birthday anyway!

Caron said...

Happy Birthday from Los Angeles!

For more on the "speak it into existence" thing, see Justin Peters site: http://www.justinpeters.org and watch "demo." Its excellent!

Justin spoke at my church and comes highly recommended by my pastor, Dr. John MacArthur.